Discouraged...

I don't understand my need to always be first and perfect.  Yesterday I googled the word "cake pops".  I was looking for any companies that sold cake pops locally and online.  I thought it would help me feel better about what we were doing, but instead it made me feel discouraged.  I got worried that we couldn't cut it and that there was already people somewhere in the world doing what we want to do so what was the point.  Well all of that reflected in my baking last night. 

I went home after 10 hours at work, tired and starving and started to bake.  I thought about all the flavors that are offered by other bakeries and thought "what if there was another bakery in Vegas who had the same idea that we have".  My dad came over for dinner and added to my pity party by saying that somewhere in Las Vegas there were two girls rolling up some cake pops hoping to be the first cake pop shop.  As if he could hear what I was obsessing about.  But I kept baking, even thought the kids were screaming and some financial issues presented themselves, even through my dad telling me that Bacon was a terrible idea for a cake pop...I kept baking.  I was frustrated and it came out in the food.  The cakes pops were terrible.  They looked and tasted as terrible as I felt.  I went to bed angry at my dad, my job, my husband, and my cake pops. When I woke up, I was still mad.  I thought about telling my husband that I was going to quit, and keep my office job.  That I was going to trade in my dream of having a bakery for peaceful nights after work and the financial "security" of a regular paycheck.  I went to work and right as I was about to text him a tiny voice way in the back of my head told me to stop.  It told me that I would regret it for the rest of my life like all the other times I followed the pack and didn't think outside the box.  I had a bad night, why should I give up because of that?  Then I remembered a quote that I have been repeating for the past month.." you haven't failed until you give up".  So I decided not to fail.  I choose to do what it takes to get this thing going for myself, for my family and for Jenn.   This will work, we will have a successful bakery and our cake pops and cookie pops will be tasted all across America!

Love Kisha